My Dear Sister in Christ,

It is common to want to feel like those around us. Peer pressure is not just for kids. Knowing you are different can make you retreat from others to downplay areas of your life, looks, or character that make you feel self-conscious. Intellectually we all know they may not really matter in the end, but we would still prefer it be someone else who demonstrates this, not us. Take courage! When you are among your brothers and sisters in Christ you are in a safe place to be open about your uniqueness.

There are many areas in which we are united by similarities. Our goal is heaven, and that gives us common ground we will not have with anyone in the world. None of us are perfect. We want to become more like Jesus and need encouragement to understand His standards and make applications. We have all had broken hearts and disappointed ourselves as well as others, but we press on (Phil 3:12).

We are all different, as well. Recently a group of ladies was asked to list ways in which they were different from their sisters in Christ. In a group of over 60 people, at least five said they were more shy than others. Ten listed a background outside of faithful Christians. Three mentioned struggles with sin and selfishness. Three more spoke of being single or childless, and the rest continued in a similar fashion. While it is ironic that so many identified the very same situation as making them different, it could be a reflection of not knowing each other well enough to know that we are not alone in our struggles. We must never think, as Elijah did, that we are the only one wrestling with problems that no one else can understand (1 Kings 19:14). Everyone faces the need to overcome something and accept the grace of God to move forward.

A smaller number of responses to the question of differences recognized that all of us were created in the image of God, but with their own unique twist. For those ladies being different was not a burden. It does not keep them apart from others but is a reminder of the wisdom of God in designing the Church to be full of individuals. God asks us to be conformed to the image of His Son, not to each other (Rom 8:29). My dear sister, do not hide your differences. Instead, use them to build up the body of Christ. What I may not be able to do or see, your individual perspective can help us to discover. To be like others may make you more comfortable, but to be different will give us all strength in our diversity. “If they were all one member (alike), where would the body be?” (1 Cor 12:19) Having a common goal and reverence for God and His Word is all we need in common to produce a well-rounded family that is capable of reaching the many and varied people of the world around us.

Even if the specifics of our trials are unique all hardships in this life have the same solution. We all need Jesus and need to be honest with ourselves in making corrections that may be painful, but are not impossible. The things we cannot change in our lives can be used to help others. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 that all he suffered and was comforted for was really for the sake of other Christians. He passed that information and assurance on. When we look for things we have in common with our sisters in Christ we will see them, so focus on your comforts and use your variations.

Your loving friend,

Laurie Moyer

“(From Christ) the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” Ephesians 4:16