Dear One,

From the moment you held your precious newborn child you knew the meaning of absolute innocence. They have no sin or guile, inherited or committed. God gives them to you as a clean slate which you are commissioned to protect. This new soul has been entrusted to you with the responsibility of impressing upon them respect for their Maker and the instructions He has given us on how we can both please Him and live the best possible life here on this earth while we wait to live with Him eternally. Unfortunately, Satan does his best to spoil God’s perfect plan.

We have two options: live a blissfully ignorant life where we attempt to isolate our children from every possible influence that could pull them away from their goal—or—live in fear that Satan is working in the hearts of every man, woman, and child our precious ones meet and the only way to prevent them from being corrupted by the evil is to make our children fear everyone. Okay, so there is another option. We can insulate our children against making wrong choices by warning them ahead of time and carefully monitor their outside influences. I do think this the most reasonable course, but with as simple as it is to say the details are more complicated. How do we warn our children about the dangers in the world without taking away their innocence?

To start with we should keep in mind that the list of sins God details for us to avoid is not exhaustive. We are given plenty of information to know the difference between right and wrong, but He does not go into lurid details as to all the many variations it may take, and He doesn’t have to. Any assertion that something isn’t wrong because the Bible does not specifically condemn it is born of a desire to justify yourself, not please God. When Galatians 5:19 starts to list the deeds of the flesh and ends by saying, “and things like these” in verse 21, it shows that we are expected to apply the principles and examples given and make an evaluation of our own. Hebrews 5:14 says that time and practice should render us capable of distinguishing between good and evil. Let that be your guideline when instructing your children.

Give them enough information about what to avoid that they will recognize danger when it presents itself. But please, I beg of you, do not fill their little minds with images of nastiness and fear. Their imaginations will concoct regrettable nightmares on their own. Do not add fuel to this fire by suggesting monstrosities to them. That you know of the possibility is all the protection they need at this age. Youare their guardian. Youare the one they rely on for safety. Precautions taken need to be on your watch, not theirs. Beyond that, trust your loving Heavenly Father to watch over them as He knows their needs. That does not mean they will never get hurt or learn hard lessons, but it is not possible for you to prevent all that can go amiss for your children. Do not live your life in fear of the worst, and do not inflict that burden upon them.

Innocence comes in many areas. On the most basic level, teach your children to give the benefit of the doubt to their friends. That someone hurt their feelings does not mean they intended to hurt their feelings. Experience has taught me that little girls have more of a struggle with this than boys. The openness of their emotions makes them more empathetic, but also more inclined to take personally what others say and do. Teach them to think the best of others. It is true that individuals in your child’s life in positions of authority may not all be good. They may be tempted to abuse this trust, but it is not necessary to teach your child to expect this to be the case. When you say, “Trust the police officer. They are your friend and there to help,” you are stating a truism. The good of trusting this statement far outweighs the likelihood that it may, regrettably, not always be so. To say, “love believes all things,” as 1 Cor 13:7 does, is not to be naïve and leave yourself open to injury. It is a choice to give trust until proven unjustified. Speak in open generalities. If your children have reached the age that you and your spouse think it is appropriate to introduce issues of personal privacy give directions to them that are clear and universal. I recommend stating the positive side of the rule instead of the negative whenever possible.

Children will not remain innocent all their lives. Life will leave its impressions on them. Let them stay young, innocent, and happy as long as they can. Once that box is opened it cannot be closed.

your loving friend,

Laurie Moyer

“…I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” Romans 16:19