Dear one,

Sometimes I think being a young mother is like living in a fun house. (Not that you always have fun.) Maybe it is the activity or noise levels—calling out to get their attention, steady laughter and squeals, smiles and running. Or it may just be the paper wrappers and peanut shells on the ground. In any case, I am thinking most specifically about the house of mirrors. Things are not always as extreme as they appear, and constant distortion can cause us to lose sight of reality. Sound familiar?

When you are engaged in the daily process of keeping your head above water you may feel more like you are being buried by chores and worries instead of being able to float above them. Remember the rule of swimming: it is when you stop moving that you are in danger of sinking. Slow and steady motion in the right direction is what is needed to maintain your balance. The larger the obstacles that enter our perfectly ordered world, the more likely we are to panic and freeze. Drowning alert! Just keep swimming. Do what you can now and factor this new challenge into your plan of attack for tomorrow. When you have a secure hold on the life preserver (your spiritual life) you can “be still and know that I am the Lord” (Psa 46:10). The swell of the ocean can be overwhelming, but it pays to remember that you can also drown in a teaspoon of water. Maybe it is time to stop and see your current catastrophe in perspective.

First, let me say I am not discounting your distress or the intensity of your dilemma. Every problem is a problem until it is dealt with. I do not advise that you overlook it or “get over yourself.” But on the most practical level possible I think you need to carefully consider if this is as much of impediment to your plans as it may have appeared at first. Perhaps you need to scrap what you had hoped to do, but perhaps all you need is a path around it. It may not prevent progress, but simply slow it down. If so, then the answer is patience. Maybe a modification to the exact outcome will be needed as well.

If the object in your way truly prevents what you had hoped to do, then you are left to ask if this is the Lord’s will or yours. We pray for God to assist us in accomplishing what is right and defeat us in what is wrong. Perhaps the plans you had were not in your best interests. We tend to look at our “brain child” and defend it even when flaws start to appear. Don’t let your pride at how good this was going to be turn into the part you are sorry to lose.

Children need to learn this lesson about unrealized expectations, as well. An art teacher I knew insisted her students were not allowed to say anything they created was bad. They were not allowed to scribble it out or tear it up and throw it away. Instead, they were instructed in how to look at it as a work in progress and reevaluate what it could become, over what they preconceived it had to be. Very few people have the skill to create in art exactly what they see in their mind’s eye. A greater lesson is learned by being open to a change of plans. Then you are creating, not just replicating from a formula.

We are children, throwing a tantrum over a picture that did not turn out like we wanted it to when we allow a misadventure to spoil our whole day. Learn to shrug it off. It may take a while to be able to do this convincingly, but if we recognize that our plans are not the ones that matter most, then we will not be so vexed when things go wrong. Self-medicate with a modest amount of chocolate if you must but try to stay calm. Don’t forget that the trite saying, “If Mamma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy,” is not all wrong. Your mood and disappointment can spoil the atmosphere of the whole family, so keep it in perspective. Nothing we find disappointing can compare to the trials faced and overcome by our heroes of faith. None of their trials rise to the level of what Jesus accomplished in the face of opposition. Perhaps the reason it looks so big and overwhelming to us now is that we are looking at it with a magnifying glass. Take a deep breath. Back up and see it in its whole picture context.

your loving friend,

Laurie Moyer

“For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:3