Dear one,

Do you know many people whose identity of life seems to be bound up in their stuff? Perhaps that is what they talk about most. I do not mean to say that only a destitute person has their material priorities straight. Poverty is no virtue either. It is just as easy to focus on the possessions you do not have as the ones you have. Jesus said a man’s life is not made of the abundance of things he possesses (Luke 12:15). If the things that are seen are temporary and the things that are not seen are eternal (2 Cor 4:18), then we must see the true value in the intangible.

The greatest irony is that materially minded people actually think that it is the things they do not yet have that will make them happy once they attain them. If only they would open their hearts to the lessons children teach. Your own little ones are so good at showing this. How many times have they passed up the flashing and squawking toy in order to play with the box in which it came? When the question of activities arises, what they want most is to spend time with you. Electronics and amusement parks are distracting, but they would not be enough to make them happy if you were not there to enjoy it with them. Children know how to find joy in the simple pleasures of life. We need to be more observant of their wisdom. “Out of the mouths of babes…,” indeed.

That does not mean it is not possible to corrupt their simple outlook on life. When we stress the toy over the bonding time, or personal gratification over giving joy to others, we are leading them into a material mindset. Each family must decide their own standards in this area of judgment, but perhaps a healthier approach would be to limit the number of “things” they have and take for granted. John Rosemond, a child psychologist, says parents should give their children everything they need and nothing they just want. Cleaning out the excess before adding new can be a growth experience all its own. The de-clutter experts advise moving out common items like clothes and personal gadgets if we have not used them in six months or more. The choice to pass something on to someone else who may benefit from it more can be a learning tool for children, as well. Many charities accept gently used items for individuals of all ages. If an older child can make the choice to pass on toys which they no longer use, they have learned a lesson in the joy of giving and the transitory nature of stuff. Again, it would not be wise to force this issue. Be sensitive to their emotional attachments, but many children are capable of voluntarily making these sacrifices for the sake of another child who is less fortunate.

If the Tiny House movement has taught our society anything it is that we do not really need all the things we have. We can make do with less, and if we are convinced of this the lack of all the glittering baubles will not bother us quite so much. This is not to say that having things is wrong. Ecclesiastes does not say that riches or enjoyment of them is wrong. It just says they are fleeting. They do not last, and placing our future aspirations on a hope for them will always leave us feeling empty. It is, instead, a mark of gratitude that we do enjoy the gifts God gives us. If we prove to Our Maker that we can be trusted with things He will use us to spread prosperity to those He wishes to bless. Luke 16:10-12 says it is the faithful who will be given more. When we hold these items with and open hand rather than a closed fist we can become His servant in so many more useful ways. I have known a few wealthy people in my life, and the best of them do not show how rich they are. They are more concerned with using what they have wisely and are usually quite self-conscious about how much they actually have.

Our children can learn to be this way. Start from the beginning stressing the use of wealth above the possession of it. Train them to be givers, not hoarders. Encourage them to simplify and take joy in the small things in life, and they may not grow into miserable adults. Whatever the Lord sees fit to bestow on them will always be enough. That is the secret of contentment, and if we want our children to be happy and secure adults we will not neglect this lesson.

your loving friend,

Laurie Moyer

“But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.” 1 Tim 6:5